Archivo para 24 abril 2015


taste ‘n see

This last chemo experience was the best I’ve had so far. Even though some of the side effects/symptoms occurred, treatment did not need to be stopped and restarted. What eased this desensitized chemo: probably the extended run time of the first two bags of taxol, an adjustment in the total dose, and adding an additional amount of “premeds” to deal with my sensitivities. We were so happy to get home in time for dinner Friday and for the “overnight” procedure to have actually lasted only one night in the hospital!

As an active Christian, our thoughts, convictions, behavior, and worldview reflect our faith. We have expectations in life colored by the lens of our belief system. Since I believe God is good and willing to work His will in my life, I expect healing (according to Isa.53:5). And although all the medical indicators show improvement, neither these signs nor how I feel is the evidence. It’s not my proof. We have to be equally convinced whether we feel good or bad. Whether we have improved or not!

11)But Naaman was angry and went away, saying, “Behold, I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leprosy. 12)Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage. 13)But his servants came near and said to him, “My father, if the prophet had spoken to you a great thing, would you not do it? How much more then when he said to you, ‘Wash, and be clean? 2 Kings 5:11-13

In my way of thinking, it would be a better testimony to receive a miracle or to see prayer answered. But I guess God knows how to glorify His name better than anyone else. I have a strong sense of being Naaman submitting himself and dipping in the Jordan seven times as I walk through my prescribed program of treatment.
If God would ask a great thing of me I would do it! But for now, I do what I know to do as I wait for Him to play His hand.


Circus dogs jump through hoops

◆SO instead of starting pre-surgery preparations, I had to go to the lab to get bloodwork for another chemo. How do I feel about it?

You know how it is when you make a decision, but not really because the options were forced on you? It feels like I have no choice. Why? INSURANCE.

Here’s the deal: The primary care physician that I had chosen BI (before insurance) had already filled out the clearance form for surgery. But she wasn’t in the network of the insurance company that my oncologist took. So, to ensure approval (and therefore coverage) for the surgery, I am forced to choose to go to a primary care physician, pcp, of their choosing.
Not only that, thir pcp must give me a referral for the cardiologist who has been treating me and monitoring th blood thinner since January!

I resent being coerced to buy “healthcare” and go to a doctor without needing treatment. When I needed to go to a doctor, I went to my mother-in-law’s family physician of many years. She was inexpensive; she knew our family and history.

I also do not consider it fair that a consumer cannot cancel an unsatisfactory medical insurance except during the annual enrollment period. What’s next? Car insurance? Being able to purchase a product of our own choice or return what does not peform?

Galatians 4:31 So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman (Hagar), but of the free.

We are no longer under a taskmaster as New Covenant believers, but many do not exercise the rights Jesus paid for. If we do not know what our rights and privileges are as children of the King, it is possible to be tricked out of possessing and exercising them.
It is a matter of choice and being familiar with God’s promises and the freedom in Christ we have been given.
We can be satisfied with second rate or stand firm and insist on what is already ours.
◆You asked.


DON’T say That’s okay/It’s alright

Seguir leyendo ‘DON’T say That’s okay/It’s alright’


D-isappointment, H-is appointment

“Your insurance requires pre-authorization for surgery which takes 7-14 days. I would really feel more comfortable rescheduling than risk having to cancel at the last minute.”

Do we really trust the Lord? Implicitly? No matter what?

He was already handling this thing contrary to how I figured He’d receive the greatest glory and the most recognition!

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways say the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

Oncology nurse A’s words really took the wind out of my sails. None of us realized how the insurance change beginning April 1 affected next week’s procedures until we got ready to leave today’s consultation. So, next Friday a.m. instead of inserting a filter in a vein to prevent clotting from breaking loose and the expected tumor removal in the p.m., I will be going in for overnight chemotherapy again Thursday, April 23.

This will allow XXX Insurance time to approve the surgical procedure and the Lovenox prescription to wean me from the blood thinner I take so my blood will clot after surgery.


Maybe this does not seem like it should be a big deal, right? I do not have a whole lot of experience being cut open and pain. None, actually. So the Lord first of all ministered to me, I SHALL NOT FEAR WHAT MAN SHALL DO TO ME! Now I am faced with regrouping and steeling myself for yet another delayed desensitized chemotherapy (see previous blog posts) and gearing up anew for going under the knife on May 22 and recovery.

The delay will allow me time to give attention to a recently deceased aunt’s estate and put some “historical” items up for sale. What spiritual benefit could there also be? I wish I could relate some profound lesson that I suddenly understood today. Without a doubt we have all experienced the disappointment I felt his morning and can identify with the letdown.

It is just one more day in our lives that we need to rest in, rely on, and trust our Good Shepherd to guide and protect us.
Cast the whole of your care upon Him, for He cares for you.


snake -òó- eyes

My husband looked at me intently and asked, “Are your eyebrows falling out, too?” I replied in the affirmative and pointed out that I had lost some eyelashes as well.

Staring at me from the mirror was a creature vaguely resembling Kaa from Jungle Book! Have you ever noticed that snakes do not have eyelashes?

In the two weeks following the March 26 chemotherapy SOOO much more hair has fallen out. I had arranged to have my hair cut in anticipation of such a change to lessen the difference, but…it takes some getting used to. I guess I thought the day wouldn’t come since my hair loss had been minimal up to this point.

To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he has made us accepted in the beloved. Ephesians 1:6

The trick of the devil is to make me focus on ME!  By making us overly self-conscious, he succeeds in diverting our attention from God and glorifying His name. It is comparable to when we throw ourselves a huge pity party, we are not looking at how much bigger God is than anything else and neglect His tasks before us.

So, while there is nothing wrong with doing a couple of things to look or feel attractive or comfortable, it is possible to be narcissistic. Our goal when leaving the room, finishing a song or message, doing a good work is for Jesus to be the biggest impression left behind.



Last week, my new nurse “friend” from the IV Team here at the hospital chose a spot for my chemotherapy IV on the inside of my arm parallel to a green bruise marking where blood had been drawn during my previous treatment earlier this month. Three days later when the IV was taken out, the only mark she had left was a little pinhole. Go figure!

The blood thinner I am taking makes me more susceptible to bleeding and bruises. When I bruised the heel on my left foot I could hardly walk on it for two weeks, even using a walker!

In our weakness, the Lord is so faithful. We can react in two ways: run to Him or rely on our own strength. In theory, that’s a no brainer, right? But in practice this is not so easy to carry out.

I will uphold you with the right  hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

No excuse for passivity. We must be proactively submissive and as James tells us, submit to God (big g) and resist the devil (small d). When it grates on us not to be able to handle problems on our own, it can help to picture a child on daddy’s lap so he can tie their show for them.

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

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